Em tớ tròn 9 tháng

Maman | 16/04/2011 | TẢN MẠN KÝ | 275 Comments

Paris, 14-04-2011

Thanh niên 9 tháng có màn dọa rất hoành tráng, mà “nạn nhân” có thể là bất cứ ai. Cô Ngân đến, hắn nhún nhấy lấy hết sức gằn từ trong cổ họng ra, mặt đỏ hẳn hoi gầm gừ cô ấy, liên hồi mặc kệ đối phương không hiểu nổi nguyên nhân vì sao. Đôi khi một mình hắn tự dọa bàn, dọa ghế một cách rất vu vơ. Còn nạn nhân chính luôn là Papa, hắn thích trò này đến mức áp dụng mỗi buổi tối. Thể hiện các trạng thái cảm xúc, mong muốn rõ ràng. Lúc phản đối, hắn liên hồi “Đai đai đai đai đai”. Đọc sách thì hưng phấn “Da da da da dạ a a a…” dài không hồi kết. Muốn Pa bế thì dơ hai tay lên mắt tròn xoe chờ đợi. Đòi cái máy tính nhựa học chữ số của anh Tom ỉn mặt đỏ tía tai, gầm gừ nhất định phải thắng mới thôi. Ăn món ngon hắn “Ha ha, há há” giục Papa đút nhanh thêm. Món chán, hắn mím chặt môi lại, lắc đầu guầy guậy từ trái qua phải rồi chuyển qua cao giọng khi Papa cứ giơ thìa lên. Lúc dỗi hắn trề môi ra mếu, giọng trong ơi là trong.

Thanh niên 9 tháng không chỉ lùi như trước mà đã điều khiển được chiếc xe tập đi tiến thẳng, quay ngang được rồi. Giật mọi thứ trong tầm tay. Maman đang làm việc, nghe anh Tom hét toáng lên từ phòng khách “Gấu, thôi ngay”. Thì ra thanh niên phi thẳng đến bàn, lấy điều khiển tắt luôn hoạt hình trên vô tuyến của anh ấy. Thần tượng anh kinh khủng. Anh làm gì cũng ủng hộ nhiệt tình, mắt tròn vo đầy ngưỡng mộ, khoái chí dù Papa liên tục nhắc nhở “Không có gì đâu Gấu ui, anh Tom chỉ quậy thôi mà”.

Thanh niên 9 tháng vẫn siêu người mẫu (giúp các bà mẹ trẻ giảm xì-trét, vì thấy con mình còn đô hơn hắn nhiều). Vẫn tiếp tục ăn bột, nhưng thích của mẹ nấu hơn đồ mua sẵn, làm (thỉnh thoảng) mẹ buộc phải trở thành người phụ nữ đảm đang. Bố mẹ vẫn nuôi theo trường phái tự do. Rèn luyện nhiều nên hắn khỏe lắm, có thể vi vu khắp nơi không ngại ngần.

Thanh niên 9 tháng có sở thích…tự xem chỉ tay một cách chăm chú để kiểm nghiệm lại nhận định của bà con “Sẽ làm lớn” khi nhìn vào 2 cái tai và không quên liếc sang cái đầu gần hói của hắn. Thế mà đã có người thợ cắt tóc đầu tiên. Đẩy xe cho thanh niên đi dạo, nhìn xuống thấy đầu hắn tóc lởm chởm lô nhô, bố mẹ và chú Kiên cứ nghi lẫn nhau « Sao cắt xấu thế ». Đến cuối tuần tụ tập, điều tra hóa ra anh Tom ỉn nhà ta. Dám liều lục kéo, tóm từng lọn tóc hiếm hoi của em thẳng tay cắt, còn tự hào giải thích «Tại tóc Gấu dài quá ».

Thanh niên 9 tháng sở hữu một nụ cười quyến rũ vô cùng, làm Maman say như điều đổ (Biết thế này Maman đã sinh từ năm 18 tuổi rồi).

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